I ran out of time to do a journal entry for the last couple days so I will recap briefly…
On Friday I had a reallyyyyy tough workout scheduled. I knew I couldn’t push through myself so I texted a few friends asking if they would like to workout together. These girls are TOUGH and are in really great shape. I have always been intimidated by their athleticism so I knew that they’d kick my butt. I was surprised at how well I held my own! We worked out outside in PERFECT 75 degree weather and really pushed each other hard. It just goes to show that it’s important to have friends that can challenge you! It’s also important for me to get outside with my workouts. I HATE feeling trapped, in anything I do. So, working out in a gym all the time really depresses me. I like to be active without feeling like a hamster stuck inside one of those little balls on a treadmill. The sunshine and spring weather really boosted my mood.
WORKOUT: 1 mile run, 25 burpees, 1 mile run, 50 mountain climbers, 1 miles run, 100 jumping jacks, and finally, 1.5 mile run.
Breakfast: oatmeal with peanut butter, apple, cinnamon
Lunch: Chicken, rice, a little potato casserole and asparagus (leftovers from Thursday night)
Dinner: Chicken wrap, greek yogurt with nuts and granola, banana, and an apple
Today, I played volleyball for a few hours and went for a 5 mile run. I ran 2.5 miles, walked about 100 yards, ran another two, walked, then ran another mile. So. I did the 5 miles of total work. Even with walking about 5 minutes at 4 miles, I finished right at 50 minutes. I am proud of myself for running that far ALONE. Any time I’ve ran over five miles, I’ve run with a buddy because I hate running so much. Today was just another perfect sunny day, so running outside motivated me. I think I could probably run about 8 or 9 miles relatively easy (as in NOT DYING) but would DEFINITELY have to walk some in between. I have a pretty quick recovery time. Like, I might feel completely beat after one 400 meter sprint or one mile at a super fast pace (probably about 7:30 for me now… I swear I ran it in 6:00 minutes once at soccer practice, but no one believes me…), but I could go again pretty quickly. It may be because I never really push myself to the ultimate extreme. I’m sure that will be put to the test though throughout these 21 days! We’ll see.
Breakfast today: none… woke up too late after going downtown with friends Friday night. I know that’s a big no-no. Eating right on the weekends is hard!
Lunch: 2 slices of mediterranean pizza at Mellow Mushroom.
Dinner: Leftover pizza from lunch, peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
At a campfire with friends: Roasted marshmallows.
Weight this morning: 127.6lb. I will weigh again on Sunday just to see after eating junk today. I’ve heard so many mixed things about weighing yourself. During treatment, I wasn’t allowed to weigh myself or see my weight. But now, in recovery, I’ve been allowed to monitor my weight as long as it doesn’t become consuming. Of course, in the past, that 128lb. number would be enough to send me into a complete meltdown. But now, I know that weight is just a number and doesn’t define my worth at all. I must aim for a healthy weight, a happy weight, for my body type and lifestyle. Also, I have to be wary of getting too entangled in creating my worth through this. The way my body looks does NOT define what’s on the inside. However, discipline and hard work will result in a body that points to that hard work. So, the inside defines the outside. The outside does not define the inside. Our bodies waste away. I must remind myself that the goal of this process is to beat Ed, to glorify God with my body. I cannot let sin get in the way and twist my goal to only be about changing the way my body looks. My goal is not to be hot or appealing to others. My goal is to “run the race in such a way that I may win.” God gave me this body and I only get one. I must take care of it.